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School of Engineering needs more money

By David Stewart, November 23 2018 — In an announcement that shocked no one, the Schulich School of Engineering has demanded more money. These demands were made by high chief of engineering Paula Pinklodgings. “I really think some extra funding will benefit our overlooked faculty,” said Pinklodgings through a sinister grin and clasped hands. “We…

Legendary CFL coach Wally Buono retires

By David Stewart, November 9 2018— Few Canadian Football League head coaches have influenced the game like current BC Lions head coach Wally Buono. With a combined 22 years as head coach of the Calgary Stampeders and BC Lions, he is tied for the most seasons coached in CFL history. During his tenure, Buono became…

Realizing the vision: An interview with The Sylvia Platters

By David Stewart, October 19 2018 — On Oct. 19 the shoegazing, power-pop band The Sylvia Platters will release their new split 12-inch LP with Stephen Carl O’Shea of You Say Party. Shadow Steps, their collaboration, furthers the artistic endeavors of Abbotsford-based musicians through promotion and release by the city’s community radio station, CIVL-FM. “The most…

Study concludes that no one cares

By David Stewart, October 14 2018 — According to a groundbreaking study from the University of Calgary, no one cares anymore. Carried out by professor of enlightenment studies Wayan G. Smith-Buckler, the study sampled a diverse cohort of U of C students, from expressive arts students all the way to muscular kinesiology students. The study…

Engineering student decides to abandon studies, live as a goblin

By David Stewart, September 27 2018 — Undergraduate student Martin Mecklinburg has decided to leave his studies behind to take up the life of a goblin. “I’ve never felt more free,” Mecklinburg said while adjusting his evergreen tunic. “My whole life has led me here.” Mecklinburg, a third-year civil engineering student, came to this conclusion…

Smokers rejoice as wildfires make cigarettes unnecessary

By David Stewart, August 31 2018 — As the province of British Columbia continues to be ravaged by wildfires and smoke pours into Calgary, some have managed to find the good in a bad situation. Over the past week, thousands of self-identified smokers began taking to the streets for a breath of bad air. “I…

U of C professors weigh in on Liberal promises

By Fabian Mayer, November 3 2015 — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his cabinet will be sworn into office in Ottawa on Nov. 4. During the election campaign, Trudeau’s Liberal party made promises ranging from legalizing marijuana to deficit-funded infrastructure spending. We spoke to five University of Calgary professors on the impact the new Liberal government…

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