Search for: Frankie Hart

Student taking spring and summer classes honestly has no FOMO

By Frankie Hart, April 25 2018 — The start of spring at the University of Calgary campus brings sighs of relief for most. Students are finally liberated from academic responsibilities after exams and are free to relax, go on vacation or work and at least get direct compensation for their labour. However, for some students, the break…

What mishap will befall you on Bermuda Shorts Day?

By Frankie Hart, April 12 2017 — Aries (March 21 – April 19) A peer will throw up on your shirt. If the resulting shape resembles a heart, it’s a good sign for your love life. If it’s a dollar sign, financial success is on the way. If it’s a skull, throw that shirt out…

Which SU election campaign poster are you, spiritually?

By Frankie Hart, March 6 2018 — You’ve seen them everywhere on your way to classes. Thousands of sets of eyes stare at you while traversing MacHall. You’ve contemplated your choices for the positions, but one crucial question remains — which campaign poster are you, spiritually? Which one really gets you? Take this quiz to…

Where will you be on Valentine’s Day? Our horoscopes know!

By Frankie Hart, February 14 2018 — Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Upon realizing all of your female friends actually have a Valentine, you will spend “Galentine’s Day” with your favourite cat. Paws before bras. Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20) Since there are only a few more days until Reading Week, you’ll decide…

Advanced sexting emojis

By Frankie Hart, February 7 2018 — The world of sexting is difficult to traverse, from the whimsical heights of the wordplay mountains to the terrifying depths of the dick-pic caves. This mysterious land is expanded even further thanks to the greatest gift to phone-kind — emojis. If you already thought sexting was hard, try to…

TFDL temporarily closes after cryptocurrency mining accident

By Frankie Hart, January 31 2018 — A small electrical fire broke out this morning on the third floor of the Taylor Family Digital Library. After a brief investigation, staff discovered that the fire resulted from overheating computers that were being used in an extensive cryptocurrency mining operation. The cryptocurrency project was a combined effort…

Zipper-worshiping cult discovered on campus

By Frankie Hart, September 26 2017 — Last Friday, a student who has been missing for several semesters was discovered bloodied and bruised under the Prairie Chicken. The student has requested their personal details be omitted and that they be referred to only as “Disciple Zippy.” Zippy claims to have escaped from a group called…

What trashy Buzzfeed quiz should you take next?

By Frankie Hart, September 19 2017 — It’s 3 a.m. and your alarm will ring in a few hours. You haven’t even started the paper that’s due at 9. Unfortunately, you’ve stumbled into an endless hole of Buzzfeed quizzes. You NEED to find out what Disney princess drawn as a fruit represents your soul. Little…

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