By Gagan Mann, February 27 2018 —
Every student has experienced a breakdown on campus. If you claim that you haven’t, you’re probably lying. Whether it’s exam season or you’re working on a big paper, there are always a bucket or two of tears ready to go behind every student’s eyes. And if you’ve avoided breaking down because of your crumbling grades, you will because of the crippling terror of life beyond graduation. But where should you go if you want to experience the bliss of a good sob on campus? If you can hold it together long enough to get through your class, here are some private spots you can run to for your breakdown.
The washrooms in the Science Theatres basement:
Located right beside the physics lab classrooms, almost nobody enters these secluded washrooms. And you can run in there right after lecture — how convenient! It’s the perfect place to hide for a good let-it-all-out sob. The walls in the girl’s washroom are also Pepto-Bismol pink, providing a great aesthetic for your soul-crushing wails.
The Kinesiology complex is full of nooks and crannies not frequently visited, like the area around the Olympic Oval. It’s a great place to drown your sorrows with more sorrow, as the sight of all the attractive and healthy KNES students compared to your Doritos-loving self will provide even more stimuli for your sob session.
This is a fantastic place to cry because of all the food that’s readily available to ward off the negative vibes that have been following you around all day. Whether you want sob into a double teen burger from A&W or a chocolate fudge brownie blizzard from Dairy Queen, MacHall’s food court is prepared to supplement all of your craving needs. Bury your sadness in carbs. You deserve it.
The Taylor Family Digital Library:
The best place to cry over your academic fears and failures is home to the general soul-sucking spirit of academia — the library. You don’t even have to wait until you find a spot to sit to cry, you can just do it while you’re looking for one. The stairs, the main floors and café area are all acceptable. You can even throw a pity party in the elevator. Make sure to thank the person who held the elevator door open for you. They might become your crying buddy one day.
The regular book section at the Bookstore:
No one will see you in between all the volumes of books that no one has the time to read or money to buy. All of those required readings deter people from even thinking about the regular book section, making it the perfect place for a cathartic emotional release. You won’t be discovered and can cry about how you can’t afford those books either.
This article is part of our Humour section.