By Tina Shaygan, March 20 2018 —
Looks like you only got three hours of sleep last night — again. Sleep deprivation is a leading cause of stress for post-secondary students and we consistently suffer from a lack of sleep. Hoping to contribute to your terrible sleeping habits, the Gauntlet found the top spots on campus to catch some Zs.
Whether it’s your 8 a.m. or 3 p.m. lecture, dozing off for a quick nap to the sound of your professor’s voice provides tremendous benefits for your brain. Studying subjects like critical theory or economics has been shown to cure insomnia. For a blissful sleep, sit in the last row of your lecture hall with your back to the wall. Rest your feet on top of your backpack to encourage blood flow and wrap yourself in a soft hoodie or cardigan for ultimate comfort. Sleeping during lecture can also provide you the added benefit of subconsciously picking up on learning material. As a millennial, you should also know how to type with your eyes closed, making this experience the ultimate win-win.
The third-floor MacHall couches:
If you can ignore the fact that you’re likely laying on a semen-stained surface, the couches on the third-floor of MacHall are arguably the most accessible napping spots on campus. However, these couches are quickly snagged up, so make sure you’re there during non-peak hours or are open to meeting equally sleep-deprived strangers. Use your backpack as a pillow and your winter jacket as a blanket for a snuggly nap before your midterm. The key to a restful sleep in this spot is ignoring the 18-year-old couples aggressively touching each other on the couches surrounding you — seriously, we all know what your hands are doing under that jacket. Stop it.
The Students’ Union offices:
More often than not, SU executives have a couch in their offices. Since SU executives serve and represent students, drop by and politely ask one of them if they’re interested in improving your ~student experience~. For an even more perfect nap, ask one of the executives to softly stroke your hair — they’re here for you.
The Fitness Centre:
While the first floor of the Fitness Centre at the University of Calgary is often packed with grunting dudes, the second floor is often quieter, making it the perfect place for a power nap as you pretend you’re working out. Grab a stretching mat and let your mind fall into place as the track team runs laps around you. One warning — make sure to pick a spot away from the actual tracks so your body isn’t crushed by a hunky, all-star athlete.
Honestly, who cares? During midterm season, no one can afford the chance to lose their spot in the absolute mess that is the Taylor Family Digital Library. Just lay down under the tables, on top of the tables or in the middle of the floor. Curl up under the cubicles, snuggle a bean bag or book a room and nap on top of the comfy conference-style tables. Depending on your spot at the library, you may even get a view of the mountains. With views like these, what more could you ask for?
Get in loser, we’re fixing your sleep schedule. If you drive to campus, just go to your car in between your classes for a cozy nap. Tilt your seat back, turn your heater on and play one of Spotify’s many ‘songs for sleeping’ playlists. You can even count the snowflakes settling on your window if you need more help falling into that blissful nap. As long as you aren’t doing anything weird, parking attendants and other students walking by should leave you alone. Don’t forget your “I’m not dead” sign to tape to the window.
This article is part of our humour section.