Humour

The future is very real and super intense

By Dawn Muenchrath, February 24 2017 — Aquarius  (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Start a business that manufactures tiny white plastic chairs to match the tiny plastic tables inside pizza boxes. Put your entire life savings into this project because it’s a great idea. You gotta risk it to get the biscuit. Pisces  (Feb. 19 –…

Student promises to be productive this reading week

By Joie Atejira, February 14 2017 — As reading week approaches, University of Calgary students are pumped to finally have a whole week off to relax and run away from their responsibilities with only a slight tinge of guilt. However, third-year psychology student Chelsea Thomas swears she’ll use her time wisely this semester. She purchased a Kate…

How to still look good during midterms

By Saima Asad, February 14 2017 — For most students, midterm season brings a lack of hygiene and proper nutrition, turning us into empty shells of the wholesome humans we once were. But while your interior slowly decays from all-nighters and energy drinks, there’s no reason your exterior can’t shine. Use these three tips to keep yourself…

Five exotic locales to visit this break

By Derek Baker, February 14 2017 — As reading week approaches, the envy you feel towards your friend jetting off to Cabo is probably growing stronger. You can attempt to justify the shitty reality of waking up to another -30 C day by taking comfort in the fact that they won’t get anything done. But…

Don’t break the bank with these Valentine’s Day gifts

By Joie Atejira, February 7 2017 — A Valentine’s gift — in this economy? Impossible. Resist this absurdly commercial and totally unnecessary holiday with some easy, personalized presents for that special someone. Thankfully, these are appropriate for the  even the tightest of budgets. A love letter: Who even writes letters anymore? Defy the season of spending by…

Atheist already expert in religious studies class

By Saima Asad, February 7 2017 — The University of Calgary’s religious studies department is offering a course on South Asian religion this semester. The material has already been met with some criticism by Larry O’Leary, a white male atheist and self-identified “religion expert.” “The course does see a variety of students,” instructor Katerina Petrovna…

Your future is desperate

By Jill Girgulis, February 7 2017 —   Aquarius  (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Cupid will pay you a visit on Feb. 14, take one look at your current state of existence, shake his head and say “ehh, better not.” Pisces  (Feb. 19 – March 20)  In preparation for your anatomy midterm, you will spend all…

Roll-Up-The-Rim loser accuses Tim Hortons of promoting “fake news”

By Melanie Woods, February 7 2017 — A third-year University of Calgary student is taking Tim Hortons to court, claiming the chain promotes “fake news” through its Roll-Up-The-Rim promotion. Third-year chemistry student Kevin Branson purchased a large double-double from the Tim Hortons Express in MacHall expecting to win something but instead received the “Please Play Again/Reessayez SVP®”…

Hiring | Staff | Advertising | Contact | PDF version | Archive | Volunteer