Humour

University of Calgary humanizes brand, goes emo

By Frankie Hart, April 5 2019 — The University of Calgary appears to have pivoted to a new branding strategy — and as a result, has turned emo. The Eyes Lined strategy was implemented as part of a collaboration between administration and the Haskayne School of Business. The strategy coordinator, Stanley Twiddle, explained that the…

Vote in the MacHall Madness finals

March 2019 — Sixteen competitors entered the MacHall Madness bracket, but only one vendor can reign supreme. Vote for your favourite campus spots to eat throughout March! Winners will be announced on the Gauntlet’s social media pages. Round four is now open! In the west, Bake Chef beat Opa with 67 per cent of the vote. In…

How will you get #pranked this April Fool’s?

By Frankie Hart, April 1 2019 — Aries (March 21 – April 19) You’ll check your bank account and see it’s at $420.69. Nice. Oh wait, shit, make that -$420.69. Oof. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) In a moment of pure karma, your childhood days of pranking will culminate in you being egged and…

Reasons why this Good Friday will be just okay

By Frankie Hart, March 28 2019 — On April 19, there’s a day labelled ‘Good Friday’ on my calendar. What’s so good about it, huh? Oh, a dude died on it? Then why’d you call it good?  Here are some reasons why this Good Friday is just kind of meh: It’s James Franco’s birthday: This…

Horoscopes: Which app is taking over your life?

By Frankie Hart, March 26 2019 — Aries (March 21 – April 19) There’s no way to have three ‘finstas’ and two ‘rinstas’ and not become a shell of a human being. Are you okay? Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Despite the hit it took from Instagram stories, you’re still a dedicated Snapchat user….

And so it all goes to shit

By Jason Herring and Frankie Hart, March 25 2019 — The Gauntlet elected a new editor-in-chief on March 7, though ‘elected’ may be putting it kindly. Kristy Koehler received 100 per cent of the vote in the sham election, absolutely decimating her opponent, Young Sheldon from the hit CBS television program Young Sheldon, causing him to cry his wittle…

Recipes to make from the detritus left in your cabinets

By Frankie Hart, March 25 2019 — As a university student, feeding yourself can be hard. The student life is filled with fast food, take-out, Kraft Dinner and instant noodles. That’s no way to get your nutrients. But what are you supposed to make from the assorted scraps that you have? Here are some ingenious…

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