Humour

A reflection on the best memes of 2018

By Frankie Hart, January 9 2019 — As the years go by, internet comedy evolves. Surfing the web, you’re bound to see memes emerge and die on various platforms. As we begin 2019, it’s time to pay respect to memes of yesteryear. The Denny’s take on the moth meme: Yes, this meme originated elsewhere, but…

Happy ho-ho-horoscopes

By Riley Martens, November 30 2018 — Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) You’ll learn to be more frugal this holiday season. For all your Christmas shopping needs, you’ll just go to the dollar store. You’ll buy all the presents you need for less than the price of the average shawarma. You’ll pray that all…

How to be the life of the party

By Frankie Hart, November 29 2018 — Have you ever left a party thinking, ‘What kind of impression did I leave? How can I be fun and charismatic? Why is my butt wet?’ Say no more, friend. These tips will help you become a master of parties, the ultimate test of social ability. Bring a…

Where do bugs go in the winter?

By Matty Hume, November 27 2018 — When the days grow shorter and winds grow chillier, Canadians find winter solace in a single seasonal advantage: no more bugs. But where do all the creepy-crawlies go during the frosty months? Tibby Sardaing, head of the department of zoology at the University of Calgary, has all the…

Your future be like that sometimes

By Derek Baker, November 26 2018 — Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) You’ll accidentally screenshot a Snapchat story of your junior high ex’s wild night out. You have not talked to them in at least seven years. It be like that sometimes. Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) You said you’d figure out what…

School of Engineering needs more money

By David Stewart, November 23 2018 — In an announcement that shocked no one, the Schulich School of Engineering has demanded more money. These demands were made by high chief of engineering Paula Pinklodgings. “I really think some extra funding will benefit our overlooked faculty,” said Pinklodgings through a sinister grin and clasped hands. “We…

Local drug dealers call for support in wake of legalization

By Thomas Johnson, November 22 2018 — Since the legalization of cannabis on Oct. 17, Canadians have been purchasing their leafy greens straight from the government. But a number of small business owners are speaking out, saying business has dried up since legalization. “Honestly, I’m a little disappointed in the Trudeau administration. They claim to…

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