Humour

Your future looks very, very cold

By Derek Baker, October 31 2017 —   Scorpio  (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) A Christmas song will play on the radio this week. You will deliberately crash your car to make it stop.   Sagittarius  (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) It will be so cold out that your hand will stick to the metal…

New residence meal plan to consist solely of avocado toast

By Devin Aggarwal, October 24 2017 — University of Calgary Food Services announced last week their proposal for a new way to get students to eat healthier on campus while still getting the most for their money — a meal plan consisting entirely of avocado toast. The plan will cost $5,000 per semester and includes access to…

What every sign should do this Scorpio season

By Joie Atejira, October 24 2017 —   Scorpio  (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) It’s your time of the year! We all know you’re going to start wearing less and going out more — just don’t start stripping in class. Sagittarius  (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) You’ll be stuck taking care of a drunk Scorpio…

Your horoscope will determine why you’re going to cry next

By Tanvi Sankar and Grace Stone, October 18 2017 —   Libra  (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) You’ll get no sleep the night before an 8 a.m. lecture and the line for Tim Hortons will be larger than the bags under your eyes.   Scorpio  (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) You pulled an all-nighter studying,…

How to fight the mid-semester slump

By Rachel Woodward, October 17 2017 — We’re all familiar with the mid-semester slump. Midterms are underway, assignments are in full throttle and your mental health is seemingly as fragile as it ever has been. Don’t fret, though. With a few changes to your daily routine, you can make it through this low point.  …

BREAKING NEWS: It’s hella windy outside

By Derek Baker, October 17 2017 — Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It’s a twister! It’s a twister! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa   This article is part of our humour section.

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