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Humour

Haskayne student lemonade stand to replace Pita on the Run

By Frankie Hart, February 28 2019 — After months of stagnation, the Students’ Union announced the opening of the Sour Boyz lemonade stand in place of now defunct MacHall food vendor Pita on the Run. The business was spearheaded by third-year Haskayne student Giallo Pisciare as part of a class project. “The best way to…

A Gauntlet night at Denny’s

By Kristy Koehler, February 27 2019 — Ah, Denny’s. The late-night haunt of drunk people and starving students and the early-morning refuge of senior citizens and hangover sufferers. Nothing cures a night of puking up a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice into a bedside bucket like a grease-laden Moons Over My Hammy or an All-American Slam. …

Your food horoscope is comin’ in fast

By Riley Martens, February 16 2019 — Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Hankering for a midterm study sesh snack, you’ll head to the nearest fast-food chain. Walking into that McDonald’s will be a regrettable choice. Plastic cheese will be stuck to the windows. Ketchup will be smeared across every available surface. Burgers will scuttle…

The five stages of grief when your ex messages you

By Beejal Parekh, February 14 2019 — Denial: Your phone buzzes. It’s probably Mom. Or maybe it’s a useless group project member with a thinly veiled excuse for why they haven’t completed their portion of the assignment. Oh shit, it’s your ex. You changed their name to something like “REGRET IN THE SHAPE OF A…

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