Humour

U of C to bulldoze MacHall to make way for new Flames arena

By Devin Aggarwal, September 27 2017 — After months of failed negotiations with the City of Calgary, the Calgary Flames are finally getting a new arena. The arena comes with a $500-million price tag and is slated to be built on the University of Calgary campus where MacHall currently stands. “We had such limited success with…

Zipper-worshiping cult discovered on campus

By Frankie Hart, September 26 2017 — Last Friday, a student who has been missing for several semesters was discovered bloodied and bruised under the Prairie Chicken. The student has requested their personal details be omitted and that they be referred to only as “Disciple Zippy.” Zippy claims to have escaped from a group called…

Your future is spicier than a pumpkin latte

By Derek Baker, September 26 2017 —    Libra  (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) You will stumble upon a neon green pumpkin at the store and bring it home to make pumpkin pie. This pumpkin was radioactive and you now have the ability to breathe fire. Sweet.   Scorpio  (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) You will…

Calgary installs new $1.2-million invisible public art piece

By Devin Aggarwal, September 21 2017 — Calgary city council came under fire again this week after revealing a new piece of public art purchased for the downtown core. The project, conceptualized by Moldovan new-age artist Clara Fischer and titled “Winter in Prairie,” cost the city 1.2 million. It is completely invisible. “The sculpture embodies the…

Lost first-year student still stranded on campus

By Joie Atejira, September 19 2017 — Getting lost on campus as a confused first-year is nothing new. However, one University of Calgary freshman, who requested to remain anonymous due to the possible ridicule and shame, has not been able to find his way to his next class — or even his way home — since the…

What trashy Buzzfeed quiz should you take next?

By Frankie Hart, September 19 2017 — It’s 3 a.m. and your alarm will ring in a few hours. You haven’t even started the paper that’s due at 9. Unfortunately, you’ve stumbled into an endless hole of Buzzfeed quizzes. You NEED to find out what Disney princess drawn as a fruit represents your soul. Little…

Your future involves you joining a school club

By Tanvi Sankar and Grace Guest Stone, September 18 2017 —   Virgo: Fighting Game Club (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) Easy-going and reserved, you’ve always wanted the superpower to be invisible. Kinda like John Cena, who nobody can see. I’d want to be invisible too if I had been in Fred: The Movie and Fred…

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