By Joie Atejira, September 20 2016 —
The University of Calgary has been dubbed a “commuter campus.” Whether you live just a few blocks away or make the trek from Sundance, many of us don’t have the luxury of rolling out of bed in residence and walking to class. Here are a few tips for making it to campus.
Carpool: Fury Road: Flaunt your hot-rod and carpool your pals in. Thanks to the spikes on your car doors and the fire that bursts out when you accelerate, it won’t be a typical joyride. Forget the aux cord — stack speakers on the roof of your car instead. Your passengers will serve as your live band. Cruise down Crowchild Trail with a guitarist strapped on the front and drummers perched on your trunk. Now, step on the gas pedal and die historic on the fury road as you all chase your lab report deadlines — what a busy day!
Easy-ridin’ with a bike: Release your post-Stranger Things frustration and pedal your way to campus. Invite your friends to bike along and don ‘80s adolescent fashion. But instead of searching for your missing friend, you’re all looking for the motivation to live.
By foot: That’s right, just walk. It’s possible no matter where you’re from! Think of how many eggs you’ll hatch on Pokemon Go. Strap on‑ your Nikes, finally cross cardio off your workout list and let this virtual app direct you to campus, catching hordes of Pidgeys and Drowsies along the way.
Create a new ride-share service: Uber may not be available in Calgary yet, but who says you can’t devise your own version? Hitch a ride from the Domino’s delivery guy and get to campus faster than the pizza gets cold. Note that more rides are available in the evenings and during exam season.
The non-Muggle way: Yes, we know you missed the train to Hogwarts and now you’re stuck in this muggle university. Skip the roads, avoid traffic and get ahead by flying your wizard family’s magical vehicle. It becomes invisible too, so you can park anywhere on campus and avoid paying for overpriced parking.
Public transit: Calgary is endowed with an efficient public transit system. Your daily commute not only serves as your chance to catch up on your readings, it’s also your one moment of peace during the day where you get to reflect on your life choices. Why did you sign up for an 8:00 a.m. class? Why didn’t you stay in touch with your cute lab partner from last semester? Why did you choose this degree? How much really is that doggie in the window? It’s relaxing and refreshing, and will prepare you for the lecture-filled day ahead.
This article is part of our humour section.