FoieGras
Photo by Mariah Wilson

Eat hyper-local on campus with these penny-pinching tips

By Drew Thomas, September 13 2017 —

With the start of a new school year, veteran University of Calgary students settle in for the long haul. Every student knows that winter is coming — and with it brings student debt and the looming reality of a ramen-fueled semester. We put out a call to some of the most frugal and ingenious students around campus to find the best place to help supplement the first-year empty UniCard blues. Here are their recommendations on how to save money on food by eating hyper-local on campus.

 

On-campus orchards:

Third-year primatology major Gordon Gibbons spent his summer swinging between fruit trees on campus to ensure he’s ready for the winter. These cost-cutting tips saved him a fortune on mid-winter produce.

“Check out the new apple orchard at Crowsnest residence. Pick them now while they’re ripe. There may be some pesticide residue on them, but that just adds a little kick of flavour,” he said. “Toss them with currants and pears from the tree near Science B and baby, you’ve got a fruit salad going.” 

 

Pedagogy protein:

While the ramen noodle-crusted apple pie Gibbons baked from on-campus fruit is the envy of his classmates, another student shows that patience and a little planning can help you pack on the gains with some protein. Second-year kinesiology major Buddy Buhlker reminds us to keep an eye open for opportunities with the urban wildlife.

“We can catch a slow rabbit and stew it up into a scrumptious hasenpfeffer. Even the local campus duck couple, once fattened up, could make a nice foie gras,” he said.

 

Club catering:

Fifth-year anthropology major Susie Socie recommends a more direct method. Her connections around campus net her seven free meals a week. Her recommendation?

“Get involved — which seems like the advice everyone gives — but clubs are great sources of food. Almost every club offers a free pizza night for members, so bounce from club to club to mooch a free meal while also padding your resumé,” she said.

 

Faculty fibre:

Even Socie’s sprightly ways pale in the face of seventh-year philosophy major Saul Sartre, a self- described “well-educated man” who takes a far more radical approach to penny-pinching. He recommends “a well-rounded diet of student loan statements, C-graded term papers and ‘ohm’-ing atop Prairie Chicken hill between study sessions” to fill the empty void inside you.

 

This article is part of our humour section.

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