By Melanie Woods, December 1 2015 —
The end of the semester means the end of classes, but it also means the start of finals. To help you succeed, we compiled a list of five essential items to bring into every final exam.
Water: Staying hydrated during periods of high stress is incredibly important, so make sure to bring a full bottle of water for every exam. No one will hear your desperate screams of agony if your throat is parched!
Snacks: When the proctor summons a primordial beast to devour any students remaining in the last fifteen minutes, you’ll be extra prepared with an apple-cinnamon Nutrigrain® granola bar to throw into its gaping maw, giving you time to flee to safety.
Well-sharpened pencils: When the exam inevitably requests that you murder a man in cold blood for bonus marks, ensure that you are more prepared than your peers with dozens of number 2 HBs sharpened to deadly perfection.
A smile: Half of succeeding on your exams is believing in yourself. That in mind, immediately start grinning as soon as you walk into the exam room and don’t stop until you’ve handed in your test paper, no matter how painful it gets. Feel the corners of your face start to twitch and contort with muscle exhaustion. The exam administrators will be impressed by your positive outlook and the way your eyes glaze over from not blinking for two and a half hours.
Existential dread: Thankfully, there’s no chance of you forgetting this.