To successfully navigate your way through your first year, you’ll need to rely on a handful of shitty social media apps. They’ll help you hook-up and find some easy A’s. You’ll need them — it’s a jungle out there.
The super-super official University of Calgary Twitter account is a decent resource for students and other bored internet-goers to find info on research the university is doing or read some pretty bland campus news from UToday. But mostly it’s just a breeding ground for a lot of shameless self-promotion. Like, a lot. #clickbait
Active Living’s twitter account provides an inside look into physical activity services offered on campus. Follow them and their extensive offerings of fitness classes are sure to inspire you to sign up and get moving. Seriously, stop being a lazy fuck and go to the gym. You’ll feel better, or so I’ve been told by many doctors and my mother.
It’s worth checking out Facebook to see if a specific group has been made for the classes you’re taking each semester. If one hasn’t been made yet — take the initiative. It’s a great way to connect with fellow students to make study groups, ask about homework and — if you’re taking an online course — just straight up getting answers for D2L tests. We’re all in this together, gang.
These Facebook pages are full of anonymous love, hate and garbage. People seem to mostly use them to connect to the infamous “ sexy brunette at the gym with the septum piercing.” Sometimes people try to leave inspirational messages during exam season, but I promise they don’t help. If you’re trying to find your one true love or laugh at campus losers, check it out and spread the love — anonymously, of course.
The @myUCalgary Instagram account is great for looking at pictures of the same campus you spend every day of your life looking at. It’s packed full of “throwback thursdays,” meme attempts and photos of all the campus rabbits you see on the way to your 8:00 a.m. intro to Shakespeare course. But it’s pretty good overall. Aren’t we lucky to have such hip social media?
The Gauntlet Snapchat
The @gauntletUofC Snapchat provides some of the most exciting news on campus. We can neither confirm nor deny that DJ Khaled himself gets Snapchat tips from us. Follow us for near-constant witty anecdotes and a look into the soul-sucking jobs of students who put together a newspaper every week. Just kidding, we love our jobs. Come volunteer for us. Please? It’s lonely up here.
This relatively new app is something people seem to be excited about, and is also a combination of all the social media you’re already using. It’s similar to Twitter in that you share your thoughts on a public forum. It’s similar to Facebook in that if you comment, people can see who you are. It’s similar to Tinder in that you can chat with people who connect with you and it’s similar to Reddit because we don’t know what it is or how to use it.
Like Chitter, but instead of a username you can sign your messages with colourful and mysterious icons. Even better, it’s totally anonymous. Lots of users frequent this app to tell juicy secrets about their friends to total strangers. It is also like Chitter because what the hell is it? Seriously? Yik-Yak is great until you end up getting called a douche-canoe by an unidentified brown shovel. What has your life become?
The U of C subreddit is the watering hole for libertarians on campus. Favourite pastimes include yelling about whatever the SU decides to spend their money on, asking alumni which 200-level option will be the best GPA booster and discussing where the best places are on campus to poop in privacy. Some people just want to watch the world burn. And those people can usually be found using this bizarre site.