By Lady Marmalade, November 29 2016 —
Relationships in your 20s are strange. There are people who love the single life that university allows — countless sexual and romantic encounters that are more or less meaningless — and there are people who go from one serious relationship to the next.
University is typically presented as a time of complete sexual freedom, with lots of opportunities to hook-up at parties, fuck your friends or even engage in a one-night stand every night of your undergraduate degree if you want.
But long-term relationships in university are also equally common. It’s easy to fall in love in an environment of intellectual stimulation and social exploration. Long-term relationships can feel strange in a time of such freedom. On one hand, being in a relationship with someone you care about for the long-term is a lovely situation, but there is always a fear of missing out. What if you’ll regret not spending this period of growth doing some exploring, both sexually and emotionally?
Sex in a long-term relationship is tricky as well. The beginning of a new relationship can mean the beginning of passionate sexual exploration with a new partner. But after a while, this can die out. We all get busy and we all get tired. It’s a sad day when the discussion of “spicing things up” takes place. While I am a firm believer that sex can always be “spiced up,” it is difficult to admit in a relationship that the thing you both used to be the best at is something you’re now falling behind in.
Love is tricky and sex is even trickier. There is no shame in being afraid of doing the right thing, and there is no way of looking into the future That’s So Raven-style and knowing what the right thing to do is.
The only thing you can do is follow your heart. Don’t be afraid to go into the world and make love to as many people as you want. Or if you want to be in love, be in love. Do both if you want.
It’s important to be confident in your decisions and embrace a time where you’re expected to do stupid things and have way too much sex, but you also don’t need to be ashamed for wanting to be monogamous. Love yourself first, take your time and feel it out — you’ll be okay.