I went to Bermuda Shorts Day and all I got was a free water bottle

By Frankie Hart, April 23 2019 —

After waking up late and stumbling around my room like a feral raccoon scrounging for old fries, I was finally ready to go to my friend’s place. The day? April 12, 2019. The plan? To pre-game for Bermuda Shorts Day. The fit? An egg-patterned crop top, egg skirt and egg shorts — combined to create the all-powerful egg skort — an egg bag and white shoes. The wristband? Taken off earlier in the week for comfort and accidentally forgotten at home, then picked up again later because my friend graciously drove me. It’s party time.

We have a couple of ciders and call it pregaming then head to the train. My friend notes that there doesn’t seem to be many people dressed up. This is my first time actually going to BSD, so I’m not sure what the normal amount of dressed up is. We get to campus and something seems… off. There are many people walking opposite of us, presumably to go home from normal classes. Here and there we see a couple of students wearing semi-tropical clothes. We finally make it to the entrance, where we weave through a large and suspiciously empty metal maze. After getting our IDs checked, we pass through and finally see the concert hall.

Oh.

There were a few smatterings of students at the back, but other than that, it was pretty much empty. On our way out, I tried to at least redeem my free coupon at the water station. I got a water bottle but they refused to take my coupon. Fine by me.

Now was time for the feature of this BSD that I was the most excited for — karaoke. We followed the sound and saw a very enthusiastic, though still small, group at the karaoke station. My friend and I decided to sing “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne, a song that requires a lot more air than I was prepared for. Despite this, the karaoke crowd was very supportive and receptive to my request to “open up this fucking pit,” which I was grateful for. 

After roaming around a bit and hitting up the photo booth, we decided it was time to check out the situation at D-Block. We didn’t end up staying there long. Basically, it was a bunch of people standing on lawns having drinks and chatting. The highlight was watching a guy skid on the gravel and almost land in a pile of horse shit the mounted police left behind. 

We decided to cut our losses and instead saddle up for an afterparty at Cowboys. Long story short, the highlight of that was feeling something hitting my foot and looking down to see that someone had lost their vape rig on the floor. The low point was when a group of guys tried to approach my friends and one of them told me that his friend had a boner.

To be fair to the Students’ Union, I don’t know what I would’ve changed to make BSD more successful. All I know is that in hindsight, for karaoke, I would’ve requested “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World instead. The verses are relaxed enough that I could catch my breath before going all in on the chorus. Oh well.

This article is part of our humour section.