By Drew Thomas, January 31 2017 —
Though Justin Trudeau put on a dynamic performance at the University of Calgary during his town hall last Tuesday, the real show was in the hallway leading to the Jack Simpson Gymnasium.
Thousands of students and community members stood in the line that extended from the Olympic Oval past Science B. Many were shocked that a line longer than Thursden’s could exist on campus.
“Man, this line is so fucking long. It’s worse than the DMV! We have a DMV here, right?” first-year economics student Martin MacGregor said.
While most people faced the line in the “traditional” Canadian way by queuing up quietly and complaining to the person next to them, MacGregor was not as polite.
“I can’t believe this! How can an opportunity to see the leader of our country be such a popular event? Who knew!” MacGregor said. “How will people know my feelings about diesel!”
Luckily, those stuck at the back of line who had no chance in getting into the town hall were mere steps away from the Den to drown their Prime Minister-less woes. When it became clear that they would not make it into the Jack Simpson, many attendees stopped by to grab a few drinks.
“If you really think about it, there really isn’t much difference between going to Thursden and going to see Trudeau speak,” second-year natural sciences student Bill Bosworth said with a triple-long-island iced-tea in hand. “A bunch of people going to a crowded place to leer at a very pretty person, while a few shitty people yell and catcall them. I mean, that’s really the draw of going to Thursden, anyway.”
Bosworth defended the amount of attention the Prime Minister received at the U of C.
“Really, the fault lies with the Prime Minister, right? Looking all pretty, taking the opportunity to talk to a group of emotionally distraught people with high hopes that will probably won’t be ruined by his answers?” Bosworth said. “At least we can resort to alcohol when our dreams are crushed — unless they raise the taxes on that, too.”
This article is part of our humour section.