2022 SU General Election Full Supplement

Louie Villanueva

Shit happens in sex and that’s okay

By Lady MarmaladeSeptember 20 2016

It is a known fact that sometimes, when you’re getting freaky with a lover, shit happens. “Shit” can be taken as literally as you want.

Trust me, we’ve all been there. When you are being intimate and/or naked with another person, things can get messy. I know that for me, there have been many times where things have happened in and out of the bedroom that I wish I could take back.

For starters, I’ve had a lover’s sibling walk in on some blatant, broad-daytime love-making and since I spend a lot of time in said lover’s home, kitchen encounters became very awkward and quiet.

I’ve seen my fair share of embarrassing and distressing sexual moments. I’ve broken condoms, wind and hearts. I’ve bruised a penis and my own ego once or twice. Hell, I’ve even involuntarily peed all over a lover because neither of us realized it was happening until it was far too late.

The best thing to do in a situation like this is to just laugh it off. I tend not to practice what I preach — most embarrassing moments just end with a lot of crying on my end. But what’s important to remember is that
almost everyone who has engaged in sexual activity has experienced some form of embarrassment.

Something I can say is that it helps if you’re having sex with someone who you feel you can be goofy with. If you only picture this person laughing at you and not with you, proceed with caution. Make sure you are always communicating with the person you’re intimate with. When two sweaty and naked bodies are moving around together, you can almost always expect some noises and functions to occur.

Don’t be embarrassed about your own body and the things it does, with or without your permission. Get comfortable with your body and if you are a person with a
vagina having sex with a penis-having person and you’re on top — be careful. Those things bruise easily. Trust me.


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