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Scott Strasser

Six wild and crazy Tim Horton’s orders you never thought were possible

By Jill Girgulis, February 2 2016 —

Everyone’s probably heard of the infamous “Wayne Gretzky” order at Tim Horton’s — a regular coffee with nine cream and nine sugar. But Tim Horton’s customization extends beyond simply adding more cream and sugar. Here are some wild ways to spice up your morning coffee.

The “Wayne Gretzky Hat Trick”: Order a regular coffee, but when it comes to the cream and sugar, ask for three of each. Then, dissolve a cup of rainbow sprinkles in the drink. Send the whole mixture through a blender so it gets nice and frothy, then heat to boiling. Enjoy at your own risk.

The “Tabby Cat”: Caramel sauce, white hot chocolate, whipped cream and a Creamy Chocolate Chill® merge together in this blissful concoction. This specialty order is rumoured to be the drink equivalent of stroking a soft tabby kitten. The secret ingredient is several brown and black striped cat hairs tucked into the whipped cream. Tasty!

The “I Don’t Know What I’m Doing With My Life”: Ask the cashier to toss a jelly-filled donut and one chocolate Long John into a blender, then pour the resulting mixture into an extra large Roll-Up-the-Rim® cup that says “please play again.” Have them top it off with some week-old Dark Roast.

The “Snowbird”: What do you get when you combine a breakfast sandwich and an extra-large discontinued matcha green tea slushie? It tastes a lot like a cup full of dirt, grass and snow. But hey — for a mere $2.10, you can’t go wrong with this nutritious breakfast substitute.

The “All-Nighter”: The purpose of this unique drink is to pack in the most caffeine per cubic centimeter of cup space. Order an extra-large cup of Dark Roast with some additional hot chocolate, a double espresso and a large Iced Capp. What’s that? Iced Capps don’t actually have any caffeine in them? Then you’ll just have to rely on the placebo effect to get you through the night.

The “Freebie”: This is the bad cousin of the “pay it forward” movement. Take advantage of the fact that Tim Horton’s doesn’t write your name on your cup and just grab the first drink that appears on the counter — you’re probably all ordering a medium French Vanilla anyways. Just be sure to avoid repeating this stunt at any one location, or the top-secret Tim Horton’s mafia will murder everyone you love and send you their fingernails.

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