Opinions

At the expense of your dignity

Editor, the Gauntlet,

Last Friday (Sept. 26) a friend invited me out to The Back Alley for a beer. I'm a Master's student, in Applied Psychology, and I just moved here from Victoria last month. Besides the snow in September, Calgary wasn't bad at all.

As I walked past the pick-up trucks with the Micky-T super swampers, I was feeling a bit anxious. Not because I'm a social recluse or a bookworm that never leaves his office, but because I'm black. I'm a big, black guy--6ïz´7, 350 pounds.. Some may ask, "What's a black guy doing at The Back Alley?" I would ask, "Why can't a Black guy go to the Back Alley?"

I walk in and before I can pay cover or show my ID, the doorman asks me: "What are you doing here? Big coloured fella like yourself." He unhooks the red velvet rope, and lets me pass. "Walk straight ahead, cover is five bucks." So I smiled to ease his racism, laughed and asked "Why? Will I be the only one of 'me' in there?"

He ended up letting me in as a guest. Maybe because he thought I would never come back or maybe he quickly replayed the tape in his head and thought, "Maybe I shouldn't have said that." Strangely enough what bothers me most about the experience, is to ease his discomfort with his racism, I laughed and joked about his racist remarks, at the expense of my own dignity.

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Comments

Derrick,
I think that you had the upper hand here. I believe that, you not reducing yourself to his level of ignorance shows that you are a better man than he will probably ever be. I would have to say that your dignity is still very much in tact.
Take Care

Dear Kat. Thank you for your kind words. Your comments raise an interesting question. Would confronting him be "lowering myself to his level"? Should his "ignorance" give him a free ticket to discriminate whomever he wishes? If I confront him, I then feed the stereotype of being yet another "militant" person of colour, because his comments came with a, "It's-just-a-joke" smile. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Unfortunately, it was my level of internalized racism, combined with his socially contructed position of "Privilege" as a White male, that created the dialogue between us. But a very sincere thank you for creating further discussion and thought.
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