Editor, the Gauntlet,
Review of White Cowbell Oklahoma's Cencerro Blanco
1 out of 5 stars
Despite Garth Paulson's ambitious attempts to lump White Cowbell Oklahoma with Kid Rock, the fledgling "writer" has delivered a review wrought with contradictions and misnomers. Though Paulson must surely be a comedic dynamo, his assessment of Cencerro Blanco's lyrics as bereft of humour ring hollow. Most would agree that expertly-crafted lyrics such as "let me slop my biscuit in your gravy" are masterworks in the world of songwriting. These lyrics speak to people. They are powerful.
Alas, Paulson's statement that "the music is sometimes kind of fun in a guilty pleasure sort of way" is drivel of the worst kind. Even the most ill-studied, sub-retard ESL student would see the faults in this grammar. Shame on Paulson. Shame indeed.
Ironically, many of Paulson's more expert contemporaries (such as Chart Magazine) have put Cencerro Blanco on the "best Canadian album of the year" list.
The only saving grace in Paulson's review was his assessment that "four themes are addressed on Cencerro Blanco: drugs, boobs, cowbells and oral sex." Calgary music retailers have reported a stampede of U of C students (both male and female), buying up copies of Cencerro Blanco. Many have cited Paulson's aforementioned quote as the instigation for this.
One can only hope that Paulson's next effort will be of a higher calibre than this colonic waste.