Academic Probation

Alarm clock sabotages woman's life

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Fourth-year architectural technologies student Tracey Vanderhelm reported the latest in a long string of dangerously negligent acts by her bedside clock after the alarm failed once again to go off at the proper time.

Vanderhelm's coworkers were dismayed by the woman's most recent incident with her Emerson brand clock-radio after she arrived 24 minutes late for her scheduled shift.

"Tracey has been through so much this year," said fellow server Amy Gainesworth. "She deserves so much better than this. That thing is destroying her life."

Vanderhelm said she had set her alarm to 6:30 a.m. as she always does, but didn't wake-up until 7:15, thereby missing several trains to her downtown destination.

Vanderhelm has several theories for the continuing problem, including a small power outage that resets only her alarm settings, a burglar breaking into her apartment and turning the buzzer to the radio or the clock gaining sentience and turning itself off to spite he years of abuse.

"There's nothing I can do," said Vanderhelm, who also owns several other devices with an alarm function.

Vanderhelm hopes the issue will resolve itself soon as she has a Psych paper due tomorrow morning and plans to stay up all night drinking.

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