By Derek Baker, March 1 2016 —
The University of Calgary and its Students’ Union ended their negotiations over the ownership of MacHall on Feb. 26 after deciding to share ownership of the building in a joint custody agreement. The agreement will delegate control of the operations and revenue of MacHall to university administration and the SU on different days of the week.
Under the new schedule, the SU will have control of MacHall from Tuesday to Saturday and every second Monday after the full moon.
“MacHall is precious and needs to be properly taken care of,” SU president Levi Nilson said. “We want to do what’s best for MacHall, which I doubt they actually care about.”
Nilson worries administration doesn’t understand MacHall’s needs.
“Do they know how much MacHall’s dance lessons cost? Who’s going to drive MacHall to soccer practice?” Nilson said.
Vice-provost student social activities Debbie Dumas argued that the SU doesn’t grasp the full scope of maintaining a building.
“The SU thinks they can be the fun parent, giving MacHall pizza on weekends and letting it stay up as late as it wants. Parenting is about more than that,” Dumas said. “Raising a student centre is about compromise and hard choices.”
University administration will have control over MacHall on Sundays and Mondays, as well as the first Saturday of every month.
Many have raised concern about the emotional well-being of the building. Inanimate object psychologists stress that MacHall should not feel caught up in the middle of the dispute between both parties.
“MacHall is likely feeling very confused and distraught with so much change going on,” psychology professor Daniel Livingston said. “No matter what, MacHall needs to understand that this is not its fault.”
Livingston said that student-centres-of-divorce often lash out.
“If banners randomly start falling off walls or doors won’t open — this is perfectly normal,” he said. “We need to let MacHall process this big change in its life.”
Livingston said joint custody is a transition.
“To go from having two parties arguing about how to raise you to a full separation is hard,” Livingston said. “And moving back and forth between ownership is even harder.”
Administration will be required to pay monthly building-support to the SU. According to the SU, the first building-support cheque is already overdue.
This article is part of our humour section.