By Frankie Hart, March 18 2019 —
On March 14, the Students’ Union announced that the upcoming Bermuda Shorts Day will take a bizarre turn.
SU president Sagar Grewal announced that after thorough student deliberation and careful consideration of budgeting, the plans for BSD were ready to be unveiled. Grewal stated that the majority of Lot 32 would be replaced by a giant ball pit for the day.
When asked what musicians would be performing at BSD, Grewal replied, “There will be a ball pit.”
Concern quickly spread across the students in attendance. One student asked why a ball pit was to be the only source of entertainment on the university’s traditional party day.
“Ball pits are super fun!” vice-president student life Nabila Farid explained. “We’re really trying to channel the childlike joy and wonder that people get from places like Chuck E. Cheese.”
Vice-president operations and finance Kevin Dang explained that the large deficit generated from last year’s BSD needed to be addressed. Cutting costs in entertainment was one of the most convenient ways to achieve this, replacing live music with a cost-effective (and giant) ball pit.
“My favourite part about ball pits is when you cup a bunch in your arms and throw them up in the air,” Grewal added. “There is no greater joy in life.”
Dang also explained that additional measures will be put into place to maximize the entertainment value of the ball pit. The strategy to achieving this includes minimizing any kind of drinking.
“We know that some people really liked the drinking aspect of BSD,” Dang said. “But nobody likes a sticky ball pit. And the fastest way to create one is to bring a drink in it. So unfortunately, there will be no drinks this year.”
Farid stated that these drastic changes may not be permanent changes to BSD, but that the SU was putting different ideas on trial this year for the future.
“We’re planning on surveying student enjoyment and using that data,” she said. “If it goes well, next year we could have two ball pits!”
This article is part of our humour section.