Tagged humour

Hydroponic grow-op discovered in plant biology department

By Derek Baker, October 3 2017 — Some student researchers in the University of Calgary’s plant biology program have been pursuing a slightly different form of higher education. After receiving an anonymous tip — and observing smokey haze emanating from the basement of Biological Sciences — Campus Security has shut down an extensive on-campus hydroponic cannabis…

Your future is the first week of a new semester

By Derek Baker, September 7 2017 — Virgo  (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) In an effort to save money when buying food on campus, you will start eating your Tim Hortons cup after finishing whatever caffeinated drink was in it. Ignore the weird stares you get — a little extra fibre never hurts. Libra (Sept. 23 –…

Five ways to reinvent yourself for the new semester

By Hurmut Humayun, September 6 2017 — New semester, new you. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself — this semester, reinvent yourself into someone who can at least pretend to have their shit together. With the new semester ramping up, here are some tried and true ways to make this semester your best yet….

D2L to introduce photo stories

By Derek Baker, April 24 2017 — Sharing everyday moments just got a little bit easier. Inspired by the recent additions to Facebook Messenger and Instagram, Desire2Learn will now include a photo sharing feature called D2LStoriez. “We thought it was about time students and professors were able to share 10-second selfies or videos showing just…

Thesaurus unlocks unrestrained potential for English major

By Frankie Hart, March 28 2017 — Long-retired are the days of mediocre essay grades for first-year English student Arthur Doyle. After discovering the absolute capacity of an elementary, commonplace, prosaic thesaurus, Doyle announced that he has found the nexus of academic prosperity. “I’d invariably known it was a resource feasible to us, but at…

And so it all goes to shit

By Melanie Woods, March 7 2017 — The Gauntlet elected a new Editor-in-Chief on March 7. By “elected,” of course we mean already forgot about. Of the two candidates, Jason Herring eeked out a narrow victory over Tree in what many see as a shocking upset. Tree’s platform included rational, well-informed points such as “dependable?”,…

Atheist already expert in religious studies class

By Saima Asad, February 7 2017 — The University of Calgary’s religious studies department is offering a course on South Asian religion this semester. The material has already been met with some criticism by Larry O’Leary, a white male atheist and self-identified “religion expert.” “The course does see a variety of students,” instructor Katerina Petrovna…

A review of bread sandwiches — the staple of every law abiding citizen’s life

By Ronn Miguel Delos Reyes, November 15 2016 — Sandwiches are the foundation of the food pyramid. By grabbing literally any food item and squeezing it between two slices of bread, you can make yourself this staple meal. You have your are ham sandwiches, tuna sandwiches, peanut butter sandwiches, jelly sandwiches and even peanut butter and…

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