Tagged satire

Student taking spring and summer classes honestly has no FOMO

By Frankie Hart, April 25 2018 — The start of spring at the University of Calgary campus brings sighs of relief for most. Students are finally liberated from academic responsibilities after exams and are free to relax, go on vacation or work and at least get direct compensation for their labour. However, for some students, the break…

Intellectual magpie in TFDL just wanted to study in peace

By Derek Baker, April 24 2018 — Feathers were ruffled this exam season in the Taylor Family Digital Library, where students’ studying sessions were interrupted by an allegedly trapped magpie on the first two floors of the building. Efforts to catch and release the bird led to the school closing the library for a night…

City Council proposes divine intervention to pay for Olympics

By Evan Lewis, March 27 2018 — The formal bidding process for the 2026 Winter Olympics will begin any day now and Calgary City Council is still working to persuade citizens that it’s worth the cost. Requests have been made to the provincial and federal government for funding the Games, with uncertain feedback. As a…

New U.S. maple syrup tariff creates sticky situation

By Devin Aggarwal, March 8 2018 — In the wake of the recent steel and aluminum tariffs announced last week, the White House took aim at the world again, announcing a 50-per-cent tariff on maple syrup imports. Much like the other tariffs, the United States invoked a little-used clause in a 1962 trade law that allows…

B.C. to build giant curtain around Port of Vancouver, save ocean

By Derek Baker, March 1 2018 — In the wake of the current pipeline dispute between Alberta and British Columbia, the Pacific Province has taken another extraordinary step in protecting the environment. Plans have been put in place to build giant curtains around the Port of Vancouver to make it easier to turn a blind eye to…

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