Tagged satire

Students’ Union looks down at peasants below at Pack the Jack

By Derek Baker, January 17 2017 — Of the 1,881 fans who Packed the Jack for this year’s annual basketball classic, a notable few were also in the crowd. Or rather, they sat above it. Executives and representatives from the University of Calgary Students’ Union showed their support for the Dinos this year by viewing the…

Ten attainable resolutions for 2017

By Drew Thomas, January 17 2016 —   The semester is now well underway and you’ve probably failed to keep your New Year’s resolution already. No judgement here — going to the gym daily or quitting drunk-texting is hard. Still, to make sure your 2017 isn’t a total wash, the Gauntlet devised 10 achievable goals for…

A review of bread sandwiches — the staple of every law abiding citizen’s life

By Ronn Miguel Delos Reyes, November 15 2016 — Sandwiches are the foundation of the food pyramid. By grabbing literally any food item and squeezing it between two slices of bread, you can make yourself this staple meal. You have your are ham sandwiches, tuna sandwiches, peanut butter sandwiches, jelly sandwiches and even peanut butter and…

SU starts selling “Make MacHall Great Again” hats

By Derek Baker, November 1 2016 — The Students’ Union recently lost a court injunction over the operation of MacHall, granting control of the building and its $1.9-million revenue to the University of Calgary for the duration of the ownership lawsuit. In an effort to promote awareness about the issue and recover some of the…

Student researches candy bartering system between trick-or-treating kids

By Derek Baker, October 25 2016 — It’s almost Halloween, which means children across the country are getting ready for sugar-fueled debauchery. But the optimal way of achieving that sugar-high differs with each child, spurring the timeless tradition of the Halloween candy trade after a long night of trick-or-treating. Fourth-year economics student Bernice Banks decided to…

MacHall slated for demolition, leaving very large, very dark hole in its place

By Melanie Woods, September 24, 2015 — The Students’ Union and university administration finally settled their ongoing feud regarding ownership of MacHall. To avoid future disputes, both parties agreed to completely demolish the building and replace it with a very large, very dark hole. The two sides came to the agreement last Monday during a…

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