HUMOR_09_13_Justin_Quaintance_bake_chef-2
Justin Quaintance

The nine best places to hotbox on the U of C campus

By Rachel Woodward, September 13 2016 —

School can be stressful. Luckily, there are plenty of spots around campus that provide ample opportunity to light one up. Here are nine places on campus where you can 4/20 blaze it all-day, everyday.

 

The Atrium:

This is a no-brainer. This place is already filled with greenery, so why not add to the ambiance? Toke up in the closest spot on campus that you can experience nature, and make sure that you keep that Mac DeMarco down — people are trying to nap in here.

 

TFDL Workroom 210e:

These private little booths are basically asking for a milky haze. As long as you have the room booked for at least an hour, nobody will bother you. I promise, they’re all jealous of how cool you are. Make sure you’re explicit in your intentions to smoke the shit out of this place when booking the workroom online.

 

Students’ Union council chambers:

This is an important spot on campus where important people meet to talk about important things. Get lit in that shit! Let Stephan Guscott know that you mean business while you puff-puff-pass all the way to Tristan Bray.

 

Craigie Hall:

This building is already full of asbestos — might as well take some sick bong rips to clear the air. At the very least, if you run out of the devil’s lettuce, you can give the ceiling panels a firm shake and smoke whatever falls out of there.

 

The elevator in the Nickle Galleries:

If you’ve ever been in this mysterious place, you know that some weed-shit goes on in here. What do you expect? The arts are full of stoners. So pack some wacky-tabacky and get blazed all the way to the top.

 

Bake Chef:

Get baked at the Bake Chef! Vape your cares away while your sub is being made. No need to put any cilantro on that sammie — I’ve packed my own sweet, sweet greens.

 

A Car2Go in the Arts Parkade:

We all know that those little buggies are the perfect size to hotbox with someone you love — or at the very least by yourself while you cry into a Pumpkin Pie Blizzard™ on your way home to binge-watch Grey’s Anatomy.

 

President Elizabeth Cannon’s private bathroom:

The porcelain tiling, the pristine water pressure, a bidet — who knows. All I know is when I find this holy grail of a smokestop, I’m going to hit those dabs like there’s no tomorrow. Get your eyes truly high, just as Lizzie has asked of us.

 

Rex’s suit:

Who’s in there? Oh wait — it’s you, hitting that dank-ass kush. Get sweaty in that Dino suit while you run through the crowd in a cloud of smoke and insecurity. Honestly. You’re an adult.

 

Disclaimer:

The Gauntlet does not actually endorse smoking weed in these locations. The marijuana is illegal and you’ll go to jail or die. Don’t be a dope and smoke dope before it’s legal.

This article is part of our humour section.

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