January 25 2018 —
Cumulative finals are the worst
Some classes must have cumulative final exams, but that’s not what this piece is about.
Most students have taken courses in which the material covered by the midterm is vastly different from what is taught in the second half of the semester. Or when the original instructor disappears the moment the midterm is finished, only to be replaced by a prof with different ideas about the material. Or perhaps course that have such a large amount of content that it’s almost impossible to thoroughly review for the midterms, let alone during finals period.
It’s classes like these that always seem to wind up with cumulative final exams, which serve no purpose other than infuriating the students forced to write them. They seem to communicate that students need a second chance to demonstrate that they actually learned the material for the midterm — though they’re probably right in that regard for some students.
The most irritating thing about these exams is that they can be very ambiguous. “All my exams are cumulative,” the professor might say. Sure, but how cumulative? “Cumulative.” This could mean they are literally going to reuse the same questions from the midterm. Or “cumulative,” like I need to almost overdose on caffeine the night before if I’m gonna make it through all this extra material.
Finals week is tough enough. Please stop making it worse with cumulative final exams.
Mayonnaise is disgusting
The easiest way to ruin any dish is by putting mayonnaise in it.
Mayonnaise is an emulsion of oil, vinegar and eggs. None of those ingredients are tasty on their own, so mixing them together with no other ingredients to improve the flavour just leaves you with a tart, slimy mess that serves only to clog the consumer’s arteries.
Some mayo-based condiments that do feature flavour-enhancing ingredients are among the most delicious sauces on the market. Case in point: ranch dressing. This condiment is delicious on sandwiches, salads, vegetables and chicken. There is no reason someone should be satisfied with their condiment experience with just mayo when there are such lovely alternatives are available.
The next time you are cooking a delightful meal for a crowd, try to substitute mayonnaise for another condiment in your dishes. Your guests will not miss it and probably think your cooking is immensely better because of the more varied flavour profiles.
Mayonnaise is a gift to this world
Thick, creamy and absolutely essential — mayonnaise is the king of the condiments. What would sandwiches be without mayo’s robust flavours? We would most likely be left with only some lacklustre margarine or butter to lubricate our sandwiches, like common knaves. Mayo should be celebrated in all its glory — perfect for sauces, creams and so many recipes. Mayo reigns supreme.
And those who don’t like mayo are like margarine lovers — savages who have no place in the modern world of culinary delights.
The bookstore is ridiculously priced
What’s the most valuable knowledge that I’ve accrued three weeks into the Winter 2018 semester? It would be that buying a bundle of two required, flimsy, paperback textbooks for a required, class, brimming with information readily available on Google, will probably run you about $170 new or $130 used. Pricey, but not outlandish considering the well-documented exorbitance of textbook prices.
But, say you already have one of those texts from a previous class, or have learned that the only discernible difference between the newest edition and the edition you purchased last year for a similar class is the colour. What is one to do? Well, your best bet is to buy the bundle and use your new extra textbook to bring the gift of fire to warm yourself through the winter months. Because buying the book you actually need seperately from the bundle will backhand your bank account to the tune of $260.
Costly textbooks have never been a subtle cash grab, but the bookstore has truly outdone itself lately. Affordable food, classes and parking have already been robbed from the hapless student body, but this one really hurts. They’ve ruined the bundle, the package deal, the cornerstone of student economics. Nothing matters anymore.